This morning I hit my snooze button. Like six times. I rarely do this because I simply can’t afford to. However, this morning I “slept” through my quiet time and getting ready time and my packing the girls’ lunches time right to 3 minutes after I was supposed to have had them up. I was just so tired and truthfully, the only real point of conviction was the quiet time I skipped, but I rationalized that since I was praying while drifting in and out of consciousness, it counted for something and well, every once in a while we just have down days. I think I even told God this. I was also having somewhat of a really bad dream that I just wanted to finish with a happy ending. My auntie had died and there were fight about where to bury her and I just knew each time I hit the snooze button that I’d find a way to resurrect her. Unfortunately, I slept an extra hour and Melanie never did resurrect and we never really sorted out whether or not she was going to be buried in Texas. Sorry Auntie Mel. Sometimes we just need rest, and that is fine to give the body what it needs, but sometimes we are just lazy. I know He’s not mad at me, but I could have chosen better.
It wasn’t until I was brushing my teeth a few minutes after actually dragging myself out of bed that I realized the full impact of such choices. Ok, disclaimer…I hate to make mountains out of molehills and to “overspiritualize” things, but I just have this nagging feeling that for quite a while God has been wanting me to take some more things seriously and to be more aware of the spiritual implications of the mundane without becoming legalistic. WITHOUT BECOMING LEGALISTIC. Ok, disclaimer is done. Back to the ominousness of my choice to sleep in. Just kidding…kind of. While going through my morning getting-ready tasks, the thought came to me out of left field “it is a shame that you chose to push God away.” I’m sorry, what? It wasn’t really about me not wanting God, I just wanted more sleep. Its not that I didn’t want a quiet time; I wanted one. The voice returned, “isn’t that kinda what you said to yourself when you began dismantling your marriage? Its not about not loving God, I do love God. I just cannot live like this anymore. I don’t want to trade my relationship with God for seeking my happiness, it just kinda happened as a by-product.” I made choices even before that time that I thought had nothing to do with God directly, but the most direct consequences were established in the severance of the closeness and unity of our relationship. Another example? “I didn’t want to distance myself from God that night, I just wanted to go out with friends and have a good time.” Why does one necessitate consequences on the other?
A recurring message recently has been the fall in Genesis. Our church has been talking about it a lot, but to be honest it hasn’t arrested my attention quite like the Jesus storybook Bible that I am trying to get into the habit of reading to my girls at night. I’ll admit, I’m a picture girl. J Elena’s favorite story right now is Eve and the “apple”. So we’ve been reading it on rapid fire repeat. Eve wasn’t not choosing God, she just was choosing the fruit, and the knowledge, and everything that came with it. But that’s the catch, satan is not into full disclosure. He will never tell us everything that comes with it, whatever the temptation. But the payment is always the same. It’s the fine print woven throughout the glossy brochure that demands sacrifice of followership of and fellowship with God. I thought I was choosing some extra rest. Harmless, really. What’s one night of going out and letting my hair down? Harmless. One morning of skipping a quiet time. Harmless. One bite. Harmless.
It is the harmless acts of disobedience that preface our epic falls. Conversely, it is the consistent plodding along obedience in the small ways of our hearts and minds and life that produces an earth-shaking, mind-blowing harvest and a changed life, not to mention generational impacts.
Joshua 24:15: But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
Choosing this day means exactly that–your day and the moments that make it up. It is a stewardship, a vigilance. It is not really just an event or a one-time thing. I want to fight the good fight and run the race with perseverance. My steps must be sure and they must be intentional in order to do so. What are my personal idols that inhibit that? We all have our own gods of our ancestors and gods of the land in which we are living. Will we chose those when we are fed the lie that we aren’t setting up and idol over God? We aren’t making any allegiances. Its harmless.
Choose this day.