This morning my 3 year old woke up around 4 am, miserable and crying, because, well, it was 4 am. Which made us both miserable and crying (if only inwardly on my part). She was in a stupor and just kept wanting me to pick her up because some where in her subconscious, she knew in the morning, you wake up, and mom takes you downstairs. Its the process; she was just 2 hours early. So I had to explain to her, several times, that it was not time to get up yet and that she really needed to lie back down and go to sleep for a little while longer. When she finally relented and sunk back into her pillows, I trudged back to my bed as well. I smiled a little at how this exhausted, miserable, little person was so set on getting out of bed, when what she really needed and wanted was to just go back to sleep. She just was completely incapable of making a good decision for herself.
And that’s when it struck me.
It wasn’t that she was momentarily incapable. She was intrinsically incapable. In her current existence, she does not even have the potential of gaining the ability to make a good decision without outside instruction in that particular circumstance. It wasn’t a condition, it was her person. She is 3. She is limited by her self and will be as long as she is 3.
As adults, we’re not so different. Not really. You see, our human condition intrinsically limits us, and God knows that. He’s ok with our limitations the same way I realized that it did no good to expect Elena to be more than she was. I didn’t fault Elena for her inability to know what she needed. Sometimes I think we think God expects more out of our humanness. I think that’s why He sent His Holy Spirit. So that He could make provision for our limitations. He doesn’t expect us to demonstrate the the fruit of the Spirit on our own, in our human condition. But He does tell us to remain in Him so that He can produce much fruit in us.
I can’t help but wonder if our dependence on God for that which we cannot be on our own is endearing to Him. Maybe He rather enjoys “being” for us. I don’t like Elena being frustrated and confused, but I do like helping her to come to a good place where she can peacefully rest.
Just some thoughts, I guess…